Excerpt from "A Fistful of Dragons" (a work in progress)

   When he described it later, Jon was tempted to call it an ambush.

     The path he and Bullseye rode ran close to the base of a cliff.  At a few spots it passed between the cliff and some high rocks; it was in one of those little passes that they suddenly saw movement above them on both sides..

     First it was just boulders and brush. A second later ten, twenty figures popped up with bows drawn at them.

     No, they didn't "pop" up like ordinary people. And Indians would have exposed themselves suddenly, for effect.  This was like a cloud had moved off the sun and exposed the men aiming bows at Jon and Bullseye.

     Even "men" might be wrong. They were all slim and fair, golden- or silver-haired, and graceful; even though most were bare-chested, it was often hard to tell elven men from women. Also, many of their best archers were female.

     Jon and Bullseye drew their horses up short, as three more of the elves came from around the bend into the path. They had bows slung across their backs, but were wielding spears with blades of what looked like beaten copper. They wore little more than loincloths and belt-pouches.

     "What's going on here?" said Bullseye.

     "Who are you?" said the leader of the elves. "Where are you going?"

     "Ain't none of your  --"

     "Shut up, Bullseye," said Jon.

     The lead elf said something in Elvish to one of the others behind him. Jon recognized the word for "sack" or "pouch". That elf went to Ebony's side and started to open Jon's saddlebag.

     "Hey!" said Bullseye. "Git away from -- "  His eyes nearly bugged out when he realized this bare-chested elf was female. 

     The girl pawed through the saddlebag; Jon's shaving kit and other mundane items. Jon watched her open the burlap sack and handle the brilliant gold coins inside, and pass them off as unimportant. He had been there when Bullseye had cast the glamour over them, so he saw them as they really were. If he let his mind wander, he would see the coins the same way the girl did: as tin or wood tokens worth about nine dollars at various saloons and brothels back in _______.

     "You think we got money?" said Bullseye. "You ain't never met a cowboy before, have ya?"

     "Shut up, Bullseye," said Jon. "Holdup men don't ask your names. This is a posse."

     "I still don't gotta --"

     "Shut up, Bullseye," said the leader. 

     Jon smiled. "I'm Jon Lonehawk. You know his name. We're with a cattle drive about two hours back. We're headed towards ______."

     "Why?"

     "We have business for our boss." 

     The girl went to Scarlet's side and opened Bullseye's saddlebag. She scooped aside the pebbles, seeds, and feathers, and the bag of priceless gold, and picked up a dime novel; she glanced at the lurid illustrations and moved on to the next object: a small hardbound book illustrated with symbols and sigils. This seemed to get  her attention, and she started to handle the spell components with more interest. 

     "____", she said to the leader. Spellcaster.

     "You must come with us," said the lead elf.  "Our ____ will speak with you."

     Bullseye did not inch a hand towards his gun. He could draw fast enough that he didn't have to. Plus he was sure he could dodge the two dozen arrow that would come right after. Pretty sure.

   "Meaning no disrespect," said Jon, "But may I ask why?"

     "No. "  

     The elven man whistled loudly, and called out a few words.  Inside of a minute, half a dozen of the others had climbed down the rocks and surrounded Jon and Bullseye's horses. Half were female.  Bullseye was trying to decide how they could gallop away out of arrow range in the best time, but, surrounded by more half-naked women than he'd ever seen at one time, found concentration impossible.

     "Follow us," said the leader. "Do not try to go elsewhere."    He and one other started to run in the directing Jon and Bullseye had been traveling. The spuured their horses and started to follow. The remaining elves ran along side, surrounding them at all times.

     The riders had never seen anyone who could pace a trotting horse, at least for very long. These elves were natural marathoners, taking long, easy strides over the dry terrain with no sign of fatigue. Bullseye realized that if they did broke into a gallop, they'd never really be out of the range of those damned elven longbows and legendary eyesight.

SCI FI FANTASY SATURDAY SEPT. 13: How was your date?

There's no SF or Fantasy in this snippet, but I don't want to cheat, so maybe I'll find a way to include it in Calamity Jane.

   "So how was your date with Priscilla?"
   "Well, did you ever have one where your date picked out something they were sure would be fun for both of you -- but was wrong? And when they saw you weren't having fun, they figured they just had to try harder -- and that made it worse?"

    "And you had one of these nights?"
    "No. She did."

As always, comments are welcome. For more snippets by cool writers, go to http://scififansat.blogspot.com/.

SCI FI FANTASY SATURDAY JULY 13: The Sister Contract, pt 3

(More SF/Fantasy snippets by cool writers at http://scififansat.blogspot.com/ )

 

More from my audio sketch based on the Dungeons & Dragons Online game, in which NPC hirelings recount their adventures with the parties who employ them. Kastinalia is commiserating with her companions Syllix, the Drow Elf fighter, and Anthem, the Warforged bard. (Note to non-D&D players: “halflings” are like hobbits, without the good manners.)

 

ANTHEM: Ah, yes. What is a hireling to do when his clients are more aggravating than the monsters?

 

SYLLIX: I was hired by a party of halflings last week. All day they made Drow jokes as if I wasn't even there. But I was professional and did my job.

 

ANTHEM: Good for you.

 

SYLLIX: Afterward I went to our Guild base and spent an hour hacking at one of the training dummies.

 

KASTINALIA: The short one?

 

SYLLIX: Yes.

 

 

As always, comments are welcome.

 

I’ve tentatively charmed a member of the DDO Community team and a favorite DDO podcaster into providing two of the voices. I could use a recording tutor and a few more female voices.  Anyone else want in?

 

SCI FI FANTASY SATURDAY JULY 6: The Sister Contract, pt 2

(More SF/Fantasy snippets by cool writers at http://scififansat.blogspot.com/ )

Here’s another segment from my upcoming audio sketch, which takes place in the Dungeons & Dragons Online game.

Kastinalia is an NPC: a fighter hireling. She’s telling her friends the story of how she was contracted to guard her current employer, who happens to be her "inexperienced" younger sister, the priest Mellanda. 

The interesting thing about magical contracts: when your employer tells you to do something, you are magically compelled to obey. Mellanda doesn’t really get that. Like when they come to a door into a room that looks just a little too inviting: 

KASTINALIA: No, I mean it's a trap.

MELLANDA: Really? I'll take a look; you stay here.

SOUND FX: charm magic

KASTINALIA: No! I mean the whole room --

MELLANDA: Shh!

SOUND FX:: charm magic

SYLLIX: So you couldn't follow her in...

ANTHEM: And you couldn't warn her...

KASTINALIA: ...that she's was probably going to be --

SOUND FX: heavy gates dropping.

KASTINALIA: Locked in.

As always, comments are welcome.

I’ve tentatively charmed a member of the DDO Commmunity team and a favorite DDO podcaster into providing two of the voices. I could use a recording tutor and a few more female voices.  Anyone else want in?

SCI FI FANTASY SATURDAY MAY 18: The Sister Contract

I tried posting this last week but it ran too long. I think I was counting lines, not sentences. Here is a trimmed version.  It's from a rare finished project of mine: an audio skit that ta kes place in the Dungeons & Dragons Online game.

Kastinalia is an NPC: a fighter hireling. She’s telling her friends the story of how she was summoned into a crypt by her current employer, who turns out to be her "inexperienced" younger sister, the priest Mellanda. 

As always, comments are welcome. I’m also looking for volunteers who are good with voices and making recordings.

MELLANDA: Of course it's dangerous; why else would I need a fighter?

KASTINALIA: Fine, I'll complete the contract; but first I'm going to have the party leader send you home.

MELLANDA: You can't do that.

KASTINALIA: I have to. 

MELLANDA: No, I mean you really can't do that.

KASTINALIA: Mother always said it's my job to look out for you, and when I tell the leader --

MELLANDA: Kasti, do you see a party? It's just the two of us.

[pause]

KASTINALIA: We're so dead.

(For more snippets by cool writers, go to http://scififansat.blogspot.com/)

SCI FI FANTASY SATURDAY MAR. 30: "A Mirror Reflects" pt. 3

Has it really been almost a month since I last posted? Scandalous!  Here's the next ten sentences -- honest! --  of "A Mirror Reflects" (trying a new title). As you recall, we learned that the ancient Chinese mirror was originally crafted by someone named Liu An:

         Yes, the legendary Liu An. He was the one who designed me and commissioned the bronze-smith’s work, and after I was delivered to him, the real task of creation began. 

         Liu An had been a court astrologer to his nephew, Emperor Wu, for some years, and he needed a more efficient way to help the Emperor deal with those around him. Which tribal warlords were a true threat, and which could be pacified by a royal marriage? Which courtiers held the Emperor’s interests at least slightly above their own? Which scandals should be concealed, which ones ignored, and which ones turned to his advantage?

         Diplomacy and spying could tell only so much, but just as there is no hiding from fate, that fate cannot hide from one who reads it in the stars.

         Any competent practitioner of Zi wei dou shu can plot a birth chart; all he needs is the year, month, day, and time of the subject’s birth, and to know how to integrate the strokes in the characters that make up the subject’s name.  But to truly understand the relevance of the Yin and Yang, the positions of the Symbolic Stars, the fluidity of the classical Five Phases, and countless other factors – this requires a true master of the science.

         The Old Prince, as Emperor Wu’s courtiers respectfully called Liu An, was such a one; he could interpret these disparate elements, understand a person’s crucial traits and qualities, predict his current and future relations with family and associates, and do no less than calculate the subject’s destiny.

SCI FI FANTASY SATURDAY MAR. 2: More from "Reflections of a Magic Mirror"

(For more snippets by other cool writers, go to http://scififansat.blogspot.com/)

The reason this story scares me is all the stuff I'd want to write about: fun-house mirrors, rear-view mirrors, lasers, even disco balls. All embodied by the Spirit of the Mirror.

And I haven't even finished in ancient China, where the magic mirror begins his memoir:

     I began as a plain round mirror of bronze, fashioned in the early part of the Han Dynasty.   By “plain” I mean I had no will or consciousness, but by the standards of the West I was beautiful and ornate. My golden face was flawlessly smooth, thanks to the bronze-smith’s two belligerent apprentices, who constantly fought or gambled with each other; whoever lost had to take the next turn at polishing me.

     My reverse side, in the manner typical of Han mirrors, was molded with a central knob surrounded by a square, representing China itself. Chevrons at its corners divide the circle into the “Four Seas” – that is, everything outside of the Middle Kingdom proper. This, of course, required four triligands and four elshapes for the proper balance. Between here and the rim were more symbols of equally obvious cosmological significance, and the rim was an arabesque of dragons.

     Actually, this was during the Year of the Rooster; the use of the Holy Ones instead was simple flattery. This was unusually blatant of Liu An, but considering the plans he had for me, he’d need all the help he could get.